Quotes From Quiet, By Susan Cain

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THE BEST QUOTES FROM SUSAN CAIN

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Not clients who are easily swayed by the loudest and flashiest architect in the room. Stop thinking about them as competition, or that you have to match their volume to get noticed. The right clients will see through the dazzle and focus on which architects are doing the best work instead of those who are making the most noise. We need leaders who build not their own egos but the institutions they run. What clients need, what cities need, are architects who can take a step back and look at the big picture—how does this work for the client? How does this affect the city? By thinking about these things first, you can meet the needs of your client while building more beautiful, more efficient buildings, and in turn, cities.

Imagine you are at a networking event. I am going to go jump in and tell that funny story about that project, that will win them over and I will get a dozen business cards and a bunch of new clients. So, you pluck up your courage and march into the circle and tell your story. And it flops. People are looking at each other, and you, and then at each other again, and you feel like you could just melt into a puddle on the floor. Introverts tend to prefer meaningful one-on-one conversation to small talk and to all the chatter and noise at partiers. One of your clients has invited you to a large party, and there is some potential you could meet some new clients.

But it has been a gruellingly busy week, and you feel exhausted. So, if you feel the need, counterbalance this. Take it into account, and come up with different ways to get the same result. An alternate solution would be to spend an hour before you open Netflix emailing past clients and making connections on LinkedIn to look for potential projects and set up some meeting for next week—from the comfort of your couch.

If you prefer single-tasking to multi-tasking, stick to your guns. Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way. Maybe you have a business partner who is gregarious and outgoing. Or perhaps your mentor is very extroverted. And it works for them. They might have ideas on how the business should be run, and specifically, how you should work. Or your mentor thinks that you should start speaking at architecture conferences and events because that is what she did and has had some success at it, but in truth, the thought makes you feel nauseous. Use your natural powers — of persistence, concentration, and insight — to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. Instead of the first idea that comes to mind—you revel in taking time and persistence to find the best solution.

You may be so busy trying to appear like a zestful, reward-sensitive extrovert that you undervalue your own talents, or feel underestimated by those around you. It is silent and subtle. One does not keep digging up a plant to see how it grows. Emily Carr. As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. John Steinbeck. I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. Audre Lorde. I have always loved the desert. One sits down on a desert sand dune, sees nothing, hears nothing. Yet through the silence something throbs, and gleams.

Silence is the eternal duty of man. Thomas Carlyle Click to tweet. Staying silent is like a slow growing cancer to the soul and a trait of a true coward. There is nothing intelligent about not standing up for yourself. You may not win every battle. However, everyone will at least know what you stood for — you. Shannon L. I need to be alone. I need to ponder my shame and my despair in seclusion; I need the sunshine and the paving stones of the streets without companions, without conversation, face to face with myself, with only the music of my heart for company.

Henry Miller. Truth is not only violated by falsehood; it may be equally outraged by silence. Henri Frederic Amiel. When I pronounce the word Future, the first syllable already belongs to the past. When I pronounce the word Silence, I destroy it. Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. Henry Van Dyke. After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Aldous Huxley. We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves. Leonora Carrington. You can hear the footsteps of God when silence reigns in the mind.

Sathya Sai Baba Click to tweet. Silence is an empty space, space is the home of the awakened mind. Buddha Click to tweet. Silence gives us space to process our experiences and soak in our surroundings. Cati Vanden Breul. The world would be happier if men had the same capacity to be silent that they have to speak. Baruch Spinoza. He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak. Michel de Montaigne.

I have found that one cannot win the war of words. I have renounced the need to be seen as right, intelligent or wise. I have seen the futility of verbal battles. Either one seeks to understand or score points. The Ancient Sage. Your very silence shows you agree. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Nicholas Sparks. One must learn to be silent just as one must learn to talk. Only when the voice of duty is silent, or when it has already spoken, may we allowably think of the consequences of a particular action.

Augustus Hare. It is always assumed by the empty-headed, who chatter about themselves for want of something better, that people who do not discuss their affairs openly must have something to hide. Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish. Charles Caleb Colton Click to tweet. When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard, nor welcomed, but when we are silent we are still afraid.

So it is better to speak remembering we were never meant to survive. You are most powerful when you are most silent. People never expect silence. They expect words, motion, defense, offense, back and forth. They expect to leap into the fray. They are ready, fists up, words hanging leaping from their mouths. Alison McGhee. Silence was not the absence of sound but was itself a sound that could be loud or soft, soothing or disturbing, complex or simple.

Julius Lester. I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching. Music is pleasing not only because of the sound but because of the silence that is in it: without the alternation of sound and silence there would be no rhythm. Thomas Merton. A sudden silence in the middle of a conversation suddenly brings us back to essentials: it reveals how dearly we must pay for the invention of speech. Emile M. Susan Cain. Do you want to change the world? In a recent webinar with Top Hat, Cain shared some surprising facts about introverts and higher education—as well as some solutions that students and educators can use to work together to draw strength from this personality type.

In the meantime, here are six facts about introverts in the class that we learned from Susan Cain. Cain is a former lawyer, and a TED talk alumna. Not necessarily, says Cain. It comes as no surprise, therefore, that when introverts are asked to work in larger groups, they tend not to excel. Get rid of the phrase "class participation"—say "classroom engagement" instead. Put forward meaningful one-on-one, student-to-student or student-to-teacher interaction as an alternative.